The home one seeks to build really does start within. That’s the foundation. Once that is built one can build and envision it without.
Our situations often speak to this. My homelessness and sadness because of it definitely spoke to my inside state. I needed to depart from the connections from people and situations that kept me in prison in my own heart and mind. The abuse from others started this for me, but it was the lesson I kept for myself that kept me there. I didn’t know how much I owned their perception of me. How could I not? I was taught that from a young age. I had to free myself from a self made prison. My abuse built the bars but I didn’t realize the whole time I held the keys. I had forgotten because I believed so much in the teachings I received as a kid.
I had to face my shadow. The shadow that said, “you are nothing. Despair. You don’t deserve a home. This is why you don’t have one. Despair. You don’t deserve love. This is why you don’t have it. Despair.” The keys I had were my own thoughts. Challenging them with my coping skills took ages. Learning coping skills took time as well. There was so much hidden to bring to the light.
Only by facing my shadow and saying, “I’ve been listening to you for too long.” And not only that but “I see you. I know you’re here now. I love you. Come out of hiding.” Integration to become whole includes light and dark, and integrating the two, through love. This is why self love is the key to our self made prisons. It’s also the key to forgiveness, not only the self but for those that would abuse us. ❤️🙏🏻