I want to be very clear, that the patriarchal masculine or blind feminine idea of what femininity IS, is well, WRONG. You know why it’s wrong? Weakness has been lumped, coerced, and pushed onto the definition of femininity, WITHOUT CONSENT, and is viewed as a feminine only dynamic. AND not only that, but weakness is seen as a bad, or negative, state of being. To be delicate, soft, sparkly, high-pitched, curvy, pretty, flowing, spontaneous, gentle, empathic, and sensitive, FEMININE, is not also and therefor, to be weak, nor is it bad to be so. “The words femininity and womanhood are first recorded in Chaucer around 1380. . . Erving Goffman argued that women are socialized to present themselves as “precious, ornamental and fragile, uninstructed in and ill-suited for anything requiring muscular exertion” and to project “shyness, reserve and a display of frailty, fear and incompetence.” (Wikipedia contributors. “Feminine.” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia.) Meanwhile, aggressiveness, strength, and intelligence are attributed to the masculine.
What irks me to no end is that this definition and “box” of femininity, or womanhood, persists not only in many religions, but in our society, and thereby the perception structures in our own minds. If your Christian upbringing or faith is an excuse to continue this line of thinking I suggest you pay closer attention to Jesus; “In one generation Jesus lifted women out of the disrespectful oblivion and the slavish drudgery of the ages. And it is the one shameful thing about the religion that presumed to take Jesus’ name that it lacked the moral courage to follow this noble example in its subsequent attitude toward women. ~ The Urantia Book, (149:2.8)” And each of these societal constructs have similarly owned this concept of what it is to be feminine.
You see, I am feminine by this definition. And don’t get me wrong it is not that I am ashamed of being so; I love my femininity. What bothers me to no end however, is that when I embody intelligence, strength, independence, aptitude in mechanics, science, engineering, math, muscular fortitude, video games, sports, or display fiery anger at injustice, I am somehow less feminine, or less of a woman, and therefor most definitely trying to be “masculine” or have “penis envy.” Society has me so beholden to this definition that I then cease to be “attractive,” which should obviously be the point of my existence, (sarcasm).
You know what I’ve remembered and what this patriarchal paradigm is afraid of? Other’s don’t get to define me. Only I have that power. I have remembered my strength, my right to intelligence, life, liberty (free will), and equality. And when I embody these “masculine” truths if you find that to be “unattractive” I would ask that you think about why you feel that way. If my attractiveness is the only motivating factor in your noticing or paying attention to me, then I’m not sorry and you have entirely missed the point. I will no longer placate to these sensibilities, and if you take issue with that, then kindly check your own heart, or move along.
I am a woman and strong both.
I am a woman and intelligent both.
I am a woman and independent both.
And if my existence somehow
SHATTERS your definition
of what femininity is,
well then I’m sorry my friend,
but your definition of
HERE I STAND.