Sometimes what a person so desperately needs to hear is “I’m sorry.” When all hope of that is lost that same heart can be healed immeasurably by saying “I forgive you.” Even if it isn’t deserved, even if it feels a betrayal to one’s own heart to let go of anger. Even if that anger is justified a thousand times over, “I forgive you,” lifts and mends in ways “I’m sorry” never can because sometimes, it never comes. It is there a troubled heart must find it, beyond all hope, in that empty feeling space that forgiveness lives. Some paths are longer to this place but, it is there and it can be found. It is up to us to find a path to this peace. It is up to us to choose to love ourselves enough to be willing to release our wound. It is not our identity even if we have carried it for many miles, tears, and years.
Sometimes too, pain becomes a companion of sorts, especially if no heart could be found to connect to or lift up through love. We can learn to know pain so intimately it feels like a friend. And in this forgiveness also comes grief for loosing that which stayed by our side through it all. With release can come grief.
Surrender to all of this. Surrender despite the rip. Surrender despite being spread apart. Surrender despite the many times you told yourself you weren’t ready, maybe sometimes ready is a figment. Maybe sometimes we need to step forward even if we tremble, because our hearts are worth it. Our hearts deserve peace. Our hearts deserve forgiveness. Our hearts deserve love. And if even then all seems lost and confused and the way seems covered in haze, go within. Start within. Learn how to forgive by starting with yourself.
I forgive you. I’m sorry. I love you. Thank you.
Be at peace.
-Angel Marie Russell