The man that said he loved me
Kicked me in the chest
With boots.
Told me curses
Told me lies.
Told me I deserved to die inside.
So I did.

My Mother
Handed out insults like candies
Fists on holiday’s
Hate and pain
Rolled out like a parade
On the daily.

And now they say
“Stay quiet
Keep it to yourself.
Keep your darkness locked away
So I don’t have to witness it.”

You want me to swallow my abuse?
You want me to smile
Fix my dress and curtsy?
You want me to sit still?
You want me to pretend
That everything is okay?
“Well that is in the past.”
“Let it go.”

Well I am done listening
to abuse, enablers, and shamers
I am done listening to those
That have no room for truth.
I am done letting those that love me
Agree with my abusers
That I need to be silenced
So they don’t have to face it.
Face ME!
Look in my eyes!
See how many nights I lay awake
Begging for mercy
When I knew none would come.
And I am aghast that I believed their lies!
And you!
You want me to be quiet!!!

I will not be silenced!
I will roar!
I will scream!
Where there is abuse
There is no safety
And this world is NOT safe for so many
I am sick of you asking me for dead air.
I am sick of you asking me to swallow my truth.
I am sick that my truth makes you sick
And you refuse to face what that means!

I will shout from the rooftops
For those like me.
I will continue to share
What happened to me
Because I know there is someone
Somewhere begging to be seen
Desperate to scream but she knows she can’t.
For you, her, him, them.
I will not be silent.
I will scream and scream until this world
Turn the other check again.
I dare you.
I dare you to keep yourself from turning away.
I dare you to
To what the victims
Have to say.
I dare you to believe them.
I promise you.
It’s true.

-Angel Marie Russell
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