If attraction to another makes one feel a loss of power and thereby a need to control, become violent, or abuse, the blame rests with the one attracted, not the one they are attracted to.

Violence often starts with attraction.

Attraction can often make a person feel powerless.

Powerlessness creates desperation and a feeling of being out of control.

Desperation fueled by anger, powerlessness, and fear incites a need to “take power back” from the person who “took it.”

When really that person never took anything at all.