If attraction to another makes one feel a loss of power and thereby a need to control, become violent, or abuse, the blame rests with the one attracted, not the one they are attracted to.
Violence often starts with attraction.
Attraction can often make a person feel powerless.
Powerlessness creates desperation and a feeling of being out of control.
Desperation fueled by anger, powerlessness, and fear incites a need to “take power back” from the person who “took it.”
When really that person never took anything at all.