Many Selves, Many Truths

Sometimes I slip
To previous versions
Of myself.
It’s easy.
See,
Because they aren’t persons
But moments in time,
Where everything
That happened
In my whole life
Combined
In perfect
Unity.

Sometimes I slip
To previous versions
Of myself
To further
heal wounds
that
I couldn’t
At the time.
These formers
Of self
Never die
They just wait
Silent
To be further aligned

I do not have one person
Living inside,
But many,
Periods,
Stages,
Wayfarers,
Guides,
Pointing the way
To my truth.

Upon discovery
Of
Lessons
And
Healing
My own
Aphorisms obtained,
The ones hurting
Step forward
“I’d like to know the same.”
Healing myself
heals many
Forwards
Backwards
Down the line

Like a river
Meets every new stone
And over it
glides
Learning the landscape
Like a lover
Ever changing
Around bends
And waterfalls
So too
Do my many selves
And I

The self is fluid
Sometimes in tumult
At times free falling
Into an abyss
Only to coalesce
To meet ourselves
Calm
Down time’s river
Our many selves
Aligned
Over the landscape
Of time

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Shadow

Do not fear your shadow.
It is there you hide your truth
From you.
Do not fear the darkness
It is there you find strength,
Courage to fight
The weight of it’s truth.

Do not fear sharing this weight.
Connection, like thread
Sews up your wounds
That cut to the marrow
To be seen
In this truth
Heals not only you

Hold space for your own
Wounded heart
Lift it up to the heavens and wail
That they gave such a heart
As this
That feels so deep
Into inky depths
It threatens
To pull you down
Down
And further still
Into your pain

Do not fear your pain
Welcome it home
Rejecting it fragments your truth
And feel

Your heart has this strength
For though it was made but tiny flesh
It’s fibers weave tapestry
Over scars
A shimmering armor
Not calloused
But shining ready
With light to balance this dark

We are not singular beings
We dance between
light and dark both
When in the depths of despair
It is this shining armored heart that
Leads us back to peace
Darkness is the terrain
Love is the compass
Light is the wayshower
To the truth of you

Oh, that you
knew the strength
Of your own
Heart.
Do not fear your shadow
Show it what it is to dance
With a being of light
That being is you.

I See You

When we are lost in dark thoughts we lose that feeling of worthiness and love. When we face that which makes us shudder we feel afraid and alone.

When we keep walking forward despite our agony we gain strength. No feeling is permanent and can and will shape us for the better, that being said…

I know what it is to ache. I know what it is to give up. I know what it is to decide to keep going.

I see you.

I see your strength. I see your beauty, not just on the outside, but within. I see you struggle and triumph. I see you go within to heal. I see you sing, like a song bird freed from its cage. I see you glow in darkness.

I see you devoted to love. I see a champion, a pioneer, a tender hearted warrior. I see an undefinable being existing only once in this plane.

I see the ripple affect of your actions sending love outwards beyond you. I see your strength when its presence might be alien to you.

It is there.

I see you are beyond words to describe your worth.

I see you are love.

I see your heart with all its cracks pouring out passion, creativity, love, beauty, presence, fortitude, and strength. I see my friend, my sister, I see you. ❤️🙏🏻

For,
Allyssa Marie Milán.

Becoming 

Breath through the birthing pains.
Someday you will look back,
And see how you survived,
And this moment that pains you now
Will become a source of strength.

It will show you your perseverance,
Your tenderness,
to be affected so greatly.

It will show you how you kept on fighting
despite the pain.
With gritted teeth and
Determination,
You will see yourself through.

It will be messy and painful.
It will ache and pull at the fibers
of your being.
And you will see it through.

It will relentlessly
slam you into despair
Wave after wave
will knock you asunder.
And you will see yourself through.

And when you look back.
You will remember fondly
Your strength.
And your love will grow
Through this agony
For yourself.

And all this will be made clear
For though you don’t see
future you in this moment
That is who you are birthing.

And when looking ahead
If you only see ashes
Look closer

And there amongst the rubble
An armored fist will plunge upwards
And you will drag yourself out of this.

This feeling will not last forever.
This pain does not define you,
Breath fearless warrior
And bask in your glory
Found through this despair.
For though its presence
Seems far off
You’re already heading there.
And when that day comes
You will know
You have become.

Always

How to be seen
Speak your truth
Always

How to be heard
Speak your truth
Always

How to be loved
Speak your truth
Always

How to forgive
Be grateful for your truth
Always

How to live
Act in your truth
Always

How to happy
Face your dark
Always

How to sad, mad, grieve
Feel it
Always

How to heal
Love all of you
Integrate
Light and dark
Always

#love #ptsd #cptsd #depression